Confessions
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Daniel and Vala. There are many ways -  this is just one way to confess their feelings for each other.
1. Daniel Blurts It Out At Death's Door

Confessions

spacegypsy1

Daniel and Vala. There are many ways - but this is just one way to confess their feelings for each other.

A/N: Similar but not the same to my 2007 series – How Many Ways Can I Say I Love You. It's a obsession of mine.

Number 1: Daniel blurting it out at death's door.

-o0o-

After all these years, knowing and fighting my demons, trying to avoid emotional pain, through horrifying and death defying missions, being crowned the prince of the 'Emotionally Devoid' by Jack, of all people, which makes it that much worse, I finally decided to admit that I had, indeed, long ago fallen to the wiles of Vala Mal Doran, my nemesis.

Not necessarily the best way to confess my love for her, but, here's how it happened. In a cave. Yet again about to die.

I realized I had wasted the few years of happiness that were offered and repeatedly rejected. I realized this as some creature, looking a lot like something a kid (like me at eight) would dream up from the closet, jaws open, growling and dripping putrid gelatinous saliva from jagged teeth, approached us.

I'd shoved Vala behind me, and waved the torch. All of our ammo now resided in the creature, which apparently was immune to ammunition.

"Daniel," The woman I loved and never was smart enough to take seriously, said low and fear riddled, "you once told me long ago that monsters lurking in such caves as this were much more scared of me then I of them."

At which point the multi-fanged, hideous beast pounced.

Vala screamed (at least I think it was her and not me) and I threw up my arm in an attempt to ward off the jaws of death.

I smelled blood, mine I'm sure, felt the bone in my arm crush like delicate china as the jaws clamped down. Now here's where it got to be a little odd... here's the confessed love. The creature's knees buckled, my arm still trapped in its mouth for a few seconds more. Suddenly the jaw went slack. Then the animal sort of toppled over and I said, with a tad bit of a shaking voice, "Goddamn it, Vala, I love you!" And I toppled over myself, right on top of the smelly but dead beast.

That's all I remember. So. Here I am in the infirmary where I woke up minutes ago. And another oddity...and I think it is the very first time this has ever happened. No one. Not a soul, was in the room. No Jack ruffling my hair. No Vala clutching my hand. No doctor shining that annoying light in my eye. No Sam looking worried and fiddling with my feet. No Mitchell grinning at me. No Teal'c without expression, eyes locked on me. Nope. No one.

Am I dead and I don't know it? Maybe I'm in the morgue and not the infirmary. There's pain in my arm, so, probably not dead. I distinctly remember not having pain after I died those other times. So. Not dead.

"Is anybody here?" It came out all croaky, and not a decibel above a whisper, although I went for loud and demanding. My lips cracked and I added, quietly, "ow." And then I started sinking into darkness. My eyes fluttered shut because I was unable to sustain their weight. Funny, I thought I heard someone call out letters...

"...oh em gee! He was awake, Carolyn, and we missed it!"

That annoying light was in my eye...then my other eye. Not dead. Not alone. Obviously the doctor and Vala are here.

I tried to open my eyes, but they were too weighted once the doc let go of each lid and it slammed back shut. Also, apparently I wasn't able to move much of anything. Not my head, or legs or arms...paralyzed? By a beast's bite? That can't be right. I was drifting back into that black pit when they started up again.

"Start at the arm, first." Carolyn said. I couldn't open my eyes to see, but my ears were working fine. "We cleaned the bones before we set them, scraped them but just to be sure, start there."

"What about the blood?"

Er...this doesn't sound good.

"We've slowed the poison. It's stopped spreading, but I'm not sure how long that will last. You need to concentrate on healing him with that thing. I'll keep studying the blood samples for some antidote that will work."

Poison. Damn that monster anyway...I should have known that goo it drooled was poisonous. Shit! Then I heard it. The Goa'uld healing device in Vala's capable hands. I hadn't begun to feel it, but I heard it as I slipped away from consciousness.

Her healing must be working because when I became aware again, she was still there, the device warm and tingling over my arm and Vala chatting away...to me.

"...and Daniel, I know you were mad when you said what you said. What I don't know is if you are mad because you are and don't want to be that way...with me...or because you are and you just realized it right before the fanged menace jumped you..."

I knew exactly to what she was referring.

"...thank you, by the way, for saving me. That was so sweet. I mean the way you put me behind you and you with only a burning torch, well it was actually only smoking by that time, but anyway, just the torch to save me...or I suppose you could call it a big stick. And you slammed that stick in its eye. You are so clever. I think it died then, but not sure if it was the stick-torch thingie or the bullets from earlier..."

I'm sure it won't be long before I can open my eyes. But I'm not so sure about talking, or more correctly intervening and stopping her rattling and mixing everything up.

"...you have this infection and some kind of poison. And I know we fought it... the us, not the infection, well, Carolyn and her staff did, but it's just keeping it on hold and not really curing it so I opted for this thing. Anyway, the first time I came here it took a lot to find something I knew you'd want so you'd see me again, I was obsessed with you and couldn't work, thieve, con...nothing. The only solution? Drive you wonko. I pretended I just wanted sex, not that I didn't, but I had to keep acting like that because I couldn't...couldn't get all mushroomy...no, I think mushy is the word, about someone because as you know and stated on more than one occasion, I used sex as a tool..."

Oh God! Please let me wake up now. I have to stop her, tell her it's okay.

"...besides, I love you, too, Daniel. But I'm not mad about it. Though, I'd never tell you that, I mean that I love you, not whether I'm mad about it or not mad about it. I'd never tell anyone that I love you! Imagine the position that would put me in! My job would be in jeopardy. Not that I really care more for the job than you, but since I can't have you, I think I'd like to have my job that I do love...not like you, oh no, not like I love you. And should you actually live, without ascension, I mean, then you will just deny what you said. Darling, I think that you don't want to be with me. That's really why you were mad when you yelled what you yelled because you figured I'd be dead too. But I'm not. And right now you're also not..."

Prying my cracked lips apart I struggled to say, "No." But nothing came out and she wasn't looking at my face. I'm not really sure where she was looking. My eyes were slits and my vision couldn't really be called vision, but she appeared to be...checking me out.

"...I feel the device healing you. That makes me very happy, that you're not dying...do you know you're naked under that sheet? I was tempted to peek, but Carolyn's wandering around somewhere across the room and Mitchell, Sam, Jack and Muscles are all up in the little room up there waiting to see if you are going to go white light on them." She took a jagged breath, and the tone of her voice went sultry. "It is a fact that you have a fantastic body. I mean, really, Daniel, look at those arms. And thighs. And chest and you have this adorable..."

She moved the damned healing device up to my stomach!

"...belly. And of course those beautiful blue eyes I so love as well as lips and neck, and things like that..."

"Va...Va...Vala?" I have no idea if actual words came out. That was until she squeaked and the healing device stopped.

"You're awake!"

"Shh." I managed and she knew exactly what I meant.

"Oh. I see. You don't want anyone to hear what I'm saying? Don't worry, I turned the switch off when I came in."

Carolyn laughed and I could tell she was coming closer. "Vala." The doctor said with humor. "It was off when you came in, you must have turned it on."

I heard Jack's voice first. "Yep."

Sam was next. "Yep, loud and clear.

Teal'c added, "Indeed, ValaMalDoran it remains quite loud and very clear.

Then Mitchell's. "Yeah, princess, it's on, but don't worry, you still have a job."

My eyes popped open to see her leaning over and grinning at me. "Are you feeling better?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Were you mad because..." Even though I wasn't really 'all here' mentally, I still recognized the vulnerability in Vala's voice.

"No." I wanted to say so much more. So much – but there was no way my throat would cooperate in forming additional words.

"Just that you waited until..."

"Yes." Again, reacting to the tremble in her voice I attempted to elaborate but nothing else came out.

"I think one more round of healing tomorrow will do it. You need to rest now." Vala's fingers combed through my hair.

"Vala's right. Rest." Carolyn stood to the other side of my bed. My heavy lids were back and I barely caught a glimpse of the doctor putting something in my IV before all went dark again.

In that cool, comfortable, dark place I distinctly heard Mitchell laugh at something Jack said and then felt the soft brush of Vala's lips across mine. Tomorrow should be an interesting day.


	2. Mumbling  It Counts

#2. Mumbling - It Counts

I haven't exactly been celibate in the last ten years, as most think. I'm no monk.

I have been selective, secretive and totally uncommitted. No, not hookers. However, in my business... the business of saving the world...it's been difficult.

So why am thinking about this now? Vala. Because of Vala. It's a constant battle to stop myself from yanking her into my arms, bed, closest closet, etcetera.

Here I sit, staring at the back of her lovely head wondering what my life would be like if I just gave in to her. Does she, in fact, have real feelings for me? I wonder about things like that all day long. Even on missions. So what difference would it make if we 'hooked' up, since I can't get her out of my head anyway?

Forcing my gaze back to the artifact on my desk, I pick up my pencil, haul my journal closer, pencil poised to write notes, and I stare at the ancient bowl as if I have no idea what it is. Gahhh, I'm in love with Vala! Should I tell her?

What would I say? "Vala, tell me the truth. How do you really feel about me? Can you be committed? Would you want children... shit... where the hell did that come from? Would you be capable of monogamy? Do you love me? Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Yes."

I hear the whispered reply full of wonder. Oh gods, I didn't... out loud...I mean I may have. Oh, shit!

My eyes lift in increments, and I see that the smile on her face is soft, adoring. There are sparkles of tears in her eyes, eyes that are slightly widened, pleading.

I rise from my chair, almost as if time has slowed to a crawl. I see her stand. Then neither of us moves.

"I..." Unable to articulate anything else I begin to move in her direction.

"Love me?" Again, her words are whispered in awe.

Stopping in my tracks I smile, nodding, suddenly full of happiness and relieved to finally have admitted it. "Yes. 


	3. Texting is Acceptable

# 3 Texting is acceptable

-o0o-

"Hey." Daniel looked up with a smile as Vala entered.

"Hey, yourself."

"I was looking for you earlier...ah...anyway...did you find those books?"

"I left them on your desk earlier, probably buried there somewhere by now. And I told you where I was going before I left and when I would be back and..."

"Oh...er...I'm not checking up on you...I didn't mean that. Right, ah, where did you go?" His brows scrunched up in thought.

Her eyes shot skyward, then returned, narrowed and accusing, and a little huff of indignation escaped. "Mitchell has put me in charge of re-tagging all alien technology brought back by SG-1 and writing down how they work. I had to go to that place that doesn't exist except for a number, and I had to pick up some examples – ones I actually know how they work."

"Area 51? Goa'uld devices?"

"Yes. Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

"Ah, ah...well, that's why I was looking for you..."

"No problem, Carolyn said if you backed down as usual, she wanted to go see a movie. See you tomorrow, Daniel."

"Wait! What does that mean?" He got no answer as she disappeared out the door. "Damn!" He breathed out, running after her. "Hold up there, Vala!"

She stopped, turning slowly. "What?"

"I wasn't canceling." He lied easily, taking her gently by the arm and returning to his office. "I wanted to tell you I thought we'd go somewhere fancy and you might want to dress up. But if you'd rather go to the movies with Carolyn..."

"Oh." She looked contrite.

Daniel felt awful lying to her. Wanting to study the new artifact closer, he'd thought he could work through the night and figure something out. "So, are we on for dinner?" He asked, shoving the folder marked 'Urgent' into his desk drawer.

"Of course, darling. But it's too late for me to get all dressed up, so maybe next time we can go fancy, if there ever is a next time."

"Sure, they'll be a next time." His comment was off handed as his gaze dropped in interest to the artifact

"Why?"

"Because, Vala." Picking up the stone orb, Daniel focused on an indentation, all but ignoring her.

She moved closer to his desk, one hand going to her hip as she tapped his desk with a well manicured nail. "Because why?"

Staring at the annoying digit that distracted him, Daniel sighed. "Because we're friends!"

Propping her six on his desk she put on a look of exaggerated shock. "I thought we were co-workers." She quirked her mouth in agitation when he continued to study his little object and her well practiced shocked expression was wasted.

"We are. We're co-workers and friends." Finally he looked up, confusion warring with vexation.

Vala leaned forward, her face mere inches from him. "You know darling, I'm not going to wait forever." Pulling back, she winked and turned to leave, looking over her shoulder. "I'll inform Carolyn that a miracle has occurred. Then I'll get dressed and meet you...you are going to shave and comb your hair, aren't you? And wear those nice form fitting jeans...and the blue shirt that accentuates your lovely eyes. And come to my quarters, oh, say about seven?"

Daniel blinked, eyebrows diving downward. "Are you smirking at me?"

She gave him a wide smile and left him to his work.

-o0o-

The beep from the cell phone started Daniel. The text alert, though low, still seemed shrill in the quiet and Daniel snatched up the phone. He hated texts! And the only two people in the world who used it were Mitchell and Vala. Mitchell for work, Vala for pleasure. Vala frequently, Mitchell rarely.

As he thumbed the text page up, he hoped it was Mitchell and didn't require a reply, because he hadn't yet mastered the tiny keyboard to respond.

Nope. Not Mitchell, he discovered peering at the phone. _Darling, it's 6:16 or 18:16 did u shave and get dressssed u r runing out of ime. _

He grinned. Apparently she still hadn't mastered the keyboard either...though she'd told him that was normal. Misspelled words and letters for words. Whatever! Daniel found and hit the letter K and then send. To be honest, he needed a break anyway.

Not wanting to be totally honest, even with himself, Daniel ignored the little voices in his head -the one that tried to convince him that he was excited about dinner with Vala. And the evil one that kept making him wonder what sexy little number she'd picked out just for him. As he slowly, hands deep in his pockets and head down, headed towards his quarters he let the voices have free reign, occasionally mumbling to himself, and totally oblivious to those who darted out of his way and looked back at him with a shake of a head.

Things had changed. Something more than co-workers and friends lurked just under the surface.

She'd been gone a lot lately- loaned out on varied missions, or he'd been gone – mostly holed up on Atlantis scurrying to discover every thing possible before "the powers that be" sent it back to the Pegasus Galaxy.

Saving Earth everyday had dwindled down to finding ways to protect and save the world from any future issues that might arise. Then there was the occasional diplomatic mission. A few rescues, and those rare and treasured explorations.

Reaching his quarters, Daniel sighed. Mitchell could be found mostly filling in as base commander. General Landry spent many weeks on leave or in Washington...and...as everyone knew, Landry would retire soon. And Teal'c allotted almost all of his time to heading up the Free Jaffa, on Dakara. Wow. Life was different. Even Sam hardly visited anymore, splitting her time between the _Hammond_ and Washington. So he chose to wander Atlantis day and night. Usually, in the past, when he'd been hold up somewhere, she'd been right there annoying the hell out of him – but now, it was intermittent and he found himself missing her. A lot. Yep, things had changed.

-o0o-

He showered, shaved, combed his hair and donned the things she requested. God forbid he show up in something else! Daniel tapped on her door with a knuckle and nearly gasped when she opened it.

The sexy little number – which he knew was chosen just for him – was a brilliant blue slinky mini dress, stretched taut and formed to her remarkable figure. Legs were bare. Shoes were like spiked heel ankle boots that some maniac had taken scissors to. For a moment he stared at them then slowly as to not miss a thing, he started scanning upwards, taking a quick pause at her hips then her breasts and finally arriving at her lovely face.

She grinned, mischievously, knowingly, and sexy. "Ready, darling?"

_Well, shit, I think I am now. _He thought with a worried sigh, then getting a handled on his evil voice Daniel smiled sweetly. "Right. Let's go."

In the car Vala remained quiet, but she eyed him as if he were a giant candied version of himself. He kept his eyes on the road, also remaining quiet in fear that he'd say something he shouldn't. Like he was, possibly, or probably, falling in love with her.

Dinner started out just fine. A nice shared appetizer and two bottled waters.

But things went downhill from there.

"You know the last time you took me to dinner you lost me." She pushed lettuce around on her salad plate, watching him intently.

"Wasn't my fault. Besides, I had this place scoped out, all's well. Eat your salad." The reason he didn't look up was because he was seconds away from snatching her up and kissing her breathless.

"You don't want to talk?"

"I want to eat, Vala. I'm hungry." Okay, that came out a bit rough. He was having trouble keeping his senses about him and it was showing.

"Why are you suddenly so grouchy?"

"I'm not grouchy, can't we even have a meal without you looking at me like I'm the dessert?"

"What!"

"You heard me."

"Look who's talking with those baby blues doing an x-ray vision look all over my body, stopping for long periods of time at strategic points...all night long!"

"You wore it!"

"I'm going to the ladies' room." She snapped as she stood.

With a gruff breath, Daniel rolled his eyes. "Watch out for alien snatchers back there!"

Vala's text arrived on his phone shortly thereafter.

_if you didn't want to do this, why'd you ask me out? _

_Because I lobe u. _

_oh you love me? _

_Erp I meen _

_Yes? _

_Well, kay, mayb I have some feelings and I want to explore the posibilty of_

_I love you too and you know it. And, as much as I want to doo the explore thingie, and let you ease urself into this relabionship, I bery much like 2 go 2 ur partment, get naked, make love and talk about our future. _

_'K. Sounds good to me. _

_Look up darling._

He'd been so focused on texting he hadn't notice she'd returned. She stood there, smiling at him, cat eyes soft and pleading.

"I'm sorry." He told her, standing. "Dessert?"

"You? At your place?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I'm ready." Vala picked up her purse.

"So am I."


End file.
